Actions speak louder than words.

After a long torturing slow day of work, I spent the evening w/ MyRyan. We swooped Gabriella to meet up with her family in Santa Clara to watch fireworks. It wasn’t anything super exciting, but it was nice. I haven’t been able to do something like that for 4th of July for years since I used to work at GA. Especially just the fact I spent the evening with two of he best people in my life. <3

After fireworks, Ryan & I decided to eat pho. Got pretty lazy to go anywhere, so we called it a night. Spent the rest of it watching tv & talkin.

It’s funny cause we used to be able to talk about anything with each other & not be so shy about it. But now whenever we need to talk about us, we have the hardest time bringing it up.. Only to realize mid-conversation, we didn’t have anything to be afraid of to begin with. It’s ridiculous on what level we connect & understand each other. <3

Dear Boiyt,

I’m not trynna put you on blast or anything, but when I really think about it.. You must’ve been my biggest heartbreak, if my only one at that. My one serious relationship in high school, probably couldn’t count for a major heart break. Or at least at this point.. I don’t feel as if it was. But what happened to us—our friendship, how we felt about each other, our history.. it fell apart that year. But at the same time, it’s a little funny because only we can understand the level of our friendship & to others it might have not seemed that way just because it probably didn’t fit the stereotype characteristics of what best friends are and what not.

It kinda makes me think about the whole thing about friends being too afraid to admit their feelings to someone they like because they’re “afraid that it’ll mess up their friendship.” But as we grow up, we learn to understand that that’s just not how it works anymore. If a romantic relationship doesn’t work out between friends, it doesn’t mean that their friendship has to be over. We learn from it, move on, & if anything it can make our friendship even stronger.

K well anyway, this is me just blabbing away now. Bottom line is.. we’re friends now, & we’ll always be friends.

<3

I am who I want to be, there’s no wishing otherwise. I have flaws. I’m not perfect. I make mistakes. But I’m already on my own path doing my own thing. And along the way there are things I want to do, things I want to be. But in the end, I am who I am and I’m happy with me. And there are people in my life that like/love me for who I am now. If anyone else says otherwise, well.. who are they to me? Cause I don’t give a fck.

<3

[/RAMBLE]

not a day has gone by this past week that I haven’t seen you.. i think something is wrong with us, haha. it’s gonna suck when we finally get tired of seeing each other.. but i’m lovin it right now :] so it’s okay.

didn’t think i’d see you tonight, but turns out I might be wrong :]]]

(On our way to Round 2 of EDC !)

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Dear Stanley & Co.,

There weren’t very many names that pop into mind from my childhood. But some of them consist of you guys. Why ? Because I remember all those days on the playground, whether it was the dodgeball wall at the end of the tether ball courts, or the very corner of the soccer field, you’ll find us running around fighting the evil people with our magical powers. Most recesses & lunches consisted of our secret meetings & protection plots against other magical things. LOL. What silly children we were. I loved it. I wonder where you guys are now and what you guys are doing. We lost touch when we got older & were preparing for transfer for “intermediate school” lol. oh the days. Anyway, thanks for the wonderful memories <3

Casey

when i told you i didn’t fall in that deep. the problem was that I’ve trusted you for too long & had no walls to keep my feelings locked in or keep you out. I’ve fallen deep enough for it to hurt. & I might’ve lied when I said I wasn’t mad at you.. cause in reality, I’m angry at the both of us.

We said familiarity will break us down harder the second time around—you wanted out before history repeated itself, when history is already repeating for me </3

Dear fiance !

We didn’t talk much all those times you’ve been home in SJ(/Milpitas). & I see you the random times I come out with Kimmy. & we talk even less when you’re away. So following you on tumblr is the most contact I actually have with you, cause you post all those cute pictures and short blogs of what you do and how you feel and what not. haha, i feel like a weirdo for saying that or something -_- anyway, I hope you come home this summer. So I can see you before I run off to San Diego. We should all like.. plan a little trip or something. I don’t think we’ve done much when you’re here. I think we all go out to eat alot. Or stay at the room. Well, the times I ever came around. lol. Random.

K well, miss you ! Hope all is well.

<33 Crrazzzzyyy Casey !

Dear EXGF,

i really do miss you alot. i haven’t seen you in a while. I honestly don’t know what I’ve been doing with myself and my time. Things haven’t been all that great. I kinda got lost for a while. Not quite back on track yet, but it’s summer now.. so it doesn’t really matter. I hope we get to spend a little more time together this summer before I move. my schedule doesn’t open that much more, with work and all, but I am determined ! I miss you. Hope all is well. Hope your enjoying that new bed of yours ;] LOL. jk. kinda. Anyway, We need to go back to Valco and take new pictures :] we should start a collage of em. lol, k.Love yous.

Libras foreverr

Dear Lily,

I miss you. And I’m sorry that we’ve drifted so apart. It’s been a while now since I last saw you, but I hope you’re doing well. I apologize for not having tried to reach out to you sooner and more frequently. I hope we’ll be able to hang out and catch up sometime soon.

<3 Casey

Since my sister & I going out of town this weekend, my mom is in charge of caring for Mufasa. He has a water bowl instead of a bottle & my mom is too scared to stick her hand in the tank to fill it. Now she has to go buy him a water bottle since there’s no other option since she refuses to fill his water bowl. So she does care about him… Hahahah. Oh mother :)

[/LOL]

Yea I use “luh” instead of “love” sometimes, mainly with my friends. Have been for a while now. So don’t correct me just cause you think it’s stupid & sounds weird, it’s supposed to be silly.

So stfu.

[/RANDOM]

So I just finished my very last final for De Anza ! Mind you I didn’t do very well this quarter, but IT’S OKAYYYYY. I. AM. FREAKKIN. DONE !!!!

GENERAL ED CERTIFICATE. AA in Liberal Arts w/ Social science emphasis. ON MY FCKING WAY TO SAN DIEGO in THREE MONTHS.

WTFFFFFFFFFF.

i was having a pretty blah day, when I decided to go to Starbucks towards the end of my lunch to get my fix. Long story short—I got a free venti sized fix, compliments of the cutie :] & we got to chitchat a bit while I waited for my drink, which took abnormally long to make.. but it was ok ;] but let me tell you, it made my day. hahaha

*sigh